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Luna

TODO split into multiple files

Goodbye Luna

2020-06-30

Goodbye Luna.

Ingri and I did the hardest choice we have ever done, and decided we have to put down our oldest dog Luna. We are not 100% sure when yet. Probably after our daughters name party this weekend.

She have had a bunch of behavioural issues over the last couple of years, I think it started three years ago. But it didn't register as a problem before about two years ago. And I have worked really hard on trying to solve this. Tried to figure out if there was any medical reason for it. The only thing the vets have had was some very expensive and invasive surgeries that probably won't do anything. I have also probably spend between 500 and a 1000 hours traning with her over the last year. She is a lot better, than she was. But then a while ago it started to get worse again.

The problems we have had is:

She has some very severe seperation anxieties, especially towards me.

Most of the stuff on the list above is a lot better. Passing bikes, mc's, cars and people isn't a issue at all anymore. Dogs is a lot better, but it requires a lot of focus and planning for me.

The vets recommended us to really think about this after Ingri took her to them yesterday. And I decided it is time to do the hardest thing I can do. Let go of my best friend. The reality is that I love that dog as much as anything, and she has been with us through a lot of really hard stuff. But it isn't good for her. And she limits what I can do a lot.

I can't really bring her a lot of places, because of issues above. And most people really don't want to look after her because she just cries until I get back.

The only reason I am okay with doing this is that I have done everything I could. Probably given too much. And I also have another dog, daughter and girlfriend that would get neglected if this continues.

The Final Goodbye

18th of May 2016 * 16th of July 2020; we first met her 16th of July 2016.

We drove all the way from the west coast of Norway to eastern Sweden to pick her up. And on the way back the clutch died like an hour after leaving. So Ingri, I, Luna and another puppy we were bringing back spent 12 hours ouside a un-manned gas station. After a bunch of stuff we were home Monday morning instead of Sunday afternoon.

Luna had a great life, except for the issues that lead to us having to make the hardest choice possible.

We haven't done almost anything over the last four years where we couldn't bring her, and if we didn't we always made sure to not stay too long because she was at home.

In retrospect I realize that she always have had some issues, and things may have turned out differently if we had dealth with them earlier. That is so easy to say now.

She was always really uncomfortable with me not being around, that slowly turned into her panicing when I left or was somewhere else in the house. And what started out as being a little bit scared slowly turned into agression at the end. After using countless hours on trying to solve it by training a lot(and getting help from dog trainers). Things were getting better for a while, and then it didn't anymore. We decided the best thing for everyone was to put her down.

We tried everything we could, until I was so tired I couldn't take it anymore. It broke me and my heart. I had to let my best friend die.

I am writing this the day after, and things is better. I'm less stressed. And our other dog seems to be more calm and relaxed.

We decided to give Luna the best day possible. I made some waffels for her the day before. And we went on a long walk in the morning, before we went up to Ingri's parents where she got to run out in their yard with Molly and their dog. Before we went down to the area with the vet and walked with her and gave her way too much waffles, before our apointment at the vet.

We went in, and petted her while crying as she got the first shot. And continued doing that until she fell asleep. Then Ingri left me as they gave Luna the final shot while I continued to pet her way past where she had left us.

It is really hard, but I know it is for the better. Everything reminds me of her. I guess I would have felt like this no matter when; but the thing I think is the sadest is that I could not make it work until she was of a age where I feel less terrible about it.

I lost my best friend, I'm completly crushed, and really sad. But everything feels easier now, and I have more time and energy to spend on our other dog and our daughter.